


Falling for the Wrong Sibling

by noirsparker



Series: I'm hyperfixating on star wars here's another series I'll give up on in 6 weeks [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M, Modern AU, but instead of him falling for the person he's fake dating he falls for her brother, everyone thinks Chewie is hans dog but he's actually his stoner roommate, fake dating au, fake leia/Han, probably slow burn uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-16 21:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21277646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirsparker/pseuds/noirsparker
Summary: When Leia Skywalker, heiress to and daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Hampshire, hires criminal Han Solo to pretend to be her boyfriend, everything goes swimmingly. Well, excluding the part where he falls in love with her twin brother.





	1. First Encounters and Fence Encounters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosewitchx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosewitchx/gifts).

> The entire idea for this came from a picture of an ad I saw on Tumblr which I've lost the link to now, but the basic gist was "hire me to pretend to date you if you hate your parents, im like the worst boyfriend you could have." So here's an AU where Padme and Ani are the Duke and Duchess of Hampshire (I live in Hampshire, im not creative enough to pick another place) and Leia really wants to piss Ani off. What she's not counting on is her twin(k) brother bringing out Hans repressed gay feelings and things going sideways from there.  
Almost everything about their lifestyle is based on what I know from Downton Abbey. They're in England bc I'm English and it's 3am so going with England was the easiest path to go down. Hopefully I'll actually fucking finish this fic.

The phone rings in the middle of the night, and Han knocks it onto the floor trying to pick it up.  
"Shit!... Hello?"  
"Is this Han Solo?"  
"Yea I'm he... him.... I'm Han. What do you want? It's 2 in the morning in case you hadn't noticed"  
"I know, I know. But it's urgent. I found your ad, I need your... services."  
"My ad? I don't have an ad and I definitely don't offer 'services'! I'm not some sort of cheap pro-"  
"No, idiot, not that type of ad!" There's the distinct tapping of a keyboard on the other end of the phone, and the woman clears her throat before reading, "I am a 24 year old felon with no secondary education, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen's guitar. I ca-"  
"Oh! That ad! What, you have a fight with your mom? Wanna scare her into realising you're not a kid anymore?"  
"My dad, actually, and I'm sorta just looking to piss him off. I'll pay you extra if you make my brother hate you too, I have no problems with Luke, but dad will hate you more if he does."  
"And how much are you gonna pay me?"  
"£200 for every event you show up to, plus tips based on your performance."  
"Two hundred? You royalty? I'm not about to commit treason, kid"   
"No, we aren't quite royalty but we are... influential. Trust me, the worst you're gonna get from my family is a shouty lecture from my father."  
"Yeah, whatever you say, Princess. When and where do you need me?" 

* * *

Han pulls up to the mansion, because really that's the only word he can use to describe this place, in his beaten up, dirty old van, a playlist of music the girl had sent him named "songs by bands my dad despises" blasting as high as he can get the volume without deafening himself. He's got absolutely no idea what to expect, the only time he even goes near rich people is to rob them and holy hell, this girl is rich. Leia was the name she'd given him once they'd gotten the rest of the details down. She's 20 and amazingly beautiful, but despite her sweet demeanour, she comes off as very 'take-no-prisoners', and he wonders how she'd ever convinced her family she was dating someone as awful as she's paying him to be. He tries not to overthink that one. It's her problem to deal with.  
He's tackled almost immediately after getting out of the van, and instinctively reaches for the knife he keeps in his jacket before his brain catches up to him and he realises he's being hugged, not attacked.   
"I'm so glad you came!! Mum's been dying to meet you since I told her you were coming last week" Before he can even get a word in, Leia begins to drag him towards her (strangely large, and oddly dressed) family, but Han firmly digs his heels into the ground. No time like the present to start being an asshole, right?   
"Hey Princess, I'm not going anywhere without a kiss, you owe me one after our last date" She's smiling when she turns around, and he catches a glimpse of hatred on the face of who he assumes is her father, before she pulls him in for a kiss. He makes sure it's a sloppy one, and it lasts about a minute and a half before she pulls back, her previously immaculate lipstick making her look clown-like now.   
"I should... park the van somewhere better, right?" He's inexplicably nauseous, and desperate to get away for a moment to allow it to pass, but Leia giggles at him and takes the keys out of his hand, passing them to one of the family members lined up to the side of the huge, intricately carved front door. Those on the left side of said door are smartly dressed, but each outfit is different and presumably influenced by personal style and colour preference. The family members on the right side, however, though dressed just as smart, are all in identical outfits. Before he can remark on this oddity, his van is started up again, and My Chemical Romance begins to blast. Han isn't even acting when he laughs at the looks on everyone's faces at the sudden noise. Chewie is gonna love this story.

* * *

  
Leia's father looks like he wants him dead. The way Han has been acting tonight, there's a good chance he does. Every time Leia turns her back, Han seizes the opportunity to flirt with the closest woman. Most of the time it's female staff, who he had only learned half an hour ago weren't just Leia's oddly dressed sisters, and who seem delighted to get attention from him, albeit a little put off by his disloyalty towards the girl who, to their knowledge, he has been dating for the past 8 months. He only made the mistake of hitting on Leia's mother, Padme, once. If looks could kill, hers would have disintegrated him on the spot. That is, of course, if Anakin hadn't gotten to him first. 

He's been downing 'vodka' all night, drinking it like water, which is what Leia was really putting in his glass. The first few times she insisted on pouring his drinks, the footman had seemed rather offended, but after the 4th glass, he stopped asking. Han had watched with amusement as Anakin poured it out and replace it with water several times, but never let on. Han Solo is nothing if not a good actor. Despite the attempted sabotage, he's managed to drink enough untampered 'vodka' to act rather drunk, and is now attempting to anger Leia's twin brother, Luke. It's starting to feel fruitless, like Luke will never get mad at him, until he brings up his little run in with a gang in London.

"So Chewie and I, we're running like crazy. I'm bloody, I'm out of breath and I haven't even got a shirt on 'cause the gang leader caught me and his daughter in the act, and Jesus man if you ever wanna bang the daughter of a guy you've robbed, take my advice and do-" He's not interrupted, not really. An interruption would suggest being able to return to the story. The 20 year olds fist meeting Han's chin and the ringing in his ears following impact do not give him room to finish his sentence.

He's been in fights before. Of course he has, he's got 4 people who want him dead and a warrant for his arrest, at this point fighting is second nature. But even if he hadn't, it would be laughable how bad Luke is at fighting. Han drags him outside with ease, worried how breaking things indoors will affect his pay, before returning the punch and knocking the kid directly into the tiny wooden fence surrounding a carefully groomed patch of flowers. What he could never have predicted, was the fence post going straight through Luke's leg. Nor did he predict him pulling it out and stabbing Han in the arm with it, before promptly passing out from pain. He barely registers the look of pure hatred on Anakin's face before he follows suit. 


	2. Apologies and Anger.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han apologises, Luke represses some feelings and Anakin is feeling violent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter 2, sorry! This needed to be dialogue-heavy and dialogue is my biggest writing insecurity ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Hoping to get Chapter 3 up tonight too, but currently freaking out over RWBY so no promises!!

Someone's standing over Luke's bed. He can sense that they're there, although they aren't moving or making noise. He just... knows. He doesn't want to open his eyes, but he supposes he probably should. Oh, great. It's that asshole his sister brought to dinner. What's his name? He reaches through the haze of painkillers to try and find it.   
"Han."  
"Hey, kid." He sounds solemn, but Luke can't fathom why. Bastard pushed him through a fence post a few hours ago.  
"Why are you here? Come to hurt me more?"  
"Actually, I'm apologising. I never intended to maim you, ya know"   
"But you did, intention doesn't change that," Luke spits."Besides, I'm sure you're only here because Leia asked you to apologise."  
"Actually she's uh... not speaking to me. She was there when I woke up but I'm pretty sure that was just to glare at me so I'd know she's pissed. And, before you suggest it, I'm not apologising to get back in her good books. You don't even have to tell her we talked, I don't care."  
"Then why are you here? I sure as hell don't wanna speak with you"  
"Because, I'm an asshole but not enough of one to hurt you this bad and not feel like a dick. Also, they gave me a lot of morphine so I'm a little high." Seemingly to demonstrate this point, he attempts to sit in the chair by Luke's bed and instead ends up on the floor. He either doesn't notice or doesn't care. Luke's already concluded that Han is an idiot.  
"You know I'm never gonna like you, right? I don't even get what my sister sees in you." Han chuckles, Luke ignores the butterflies in his stomach.   
"You haven't figured it out? I'm a piece of shit, dude. I'm genuinely shocked they didn't arrest me the minute I was brought in here-"  
"Actually, I think Mum paid them not to"  
"Oh, that makes sense. But, Leia doesn't love me, and I don't know if I'd even be able to tell if I loved her. My appeal is that your parents can't fucking stand me. I'm her incredibly late teenage rebellion." He looks so proud of himself, and if Luke could move he'd probably punch him again.  
"You're not good enough for her."  
"Oh, I'm well aware."  
"Then leave her alone!"   
"Not a fucking chance." He stands up and walks towards the door. "For what it's worth, I really am sorry."  
"I hate you." Han smirks.   
"I know." He winks at Luke before leaving. The butterflies are back, and they definitely don't indicate hatred. Luke continues to ignore them. 

* * *

"I'm gonna kill him." Anakin is pacing back and forth in their bedroom, fists clenched and a face like thunder. In contrast, Padme is sitting on the edge of the bed, arms crossed and a calm, but concerned, look on their face. They've just gotten home from the hospital, sans Luke and (to Anakin's delight) Han.  
"No, you're not."  
"Yes, I am. Why did you pay them not to arrest him? He could've been out of our hands by now, and out of her life for good."  
"And send her running to someone worse? Better the evil we know than the evil we don't, Ani. Besides, I doubt she'd forgive us if she knew we could do something."   
"He put a fence post through our son's leg, Padmé! He's dangerous, and she'd get over it."   
"Yes, I know that! I hate him too, but for now, we just have to hold out hope that Leia will grow out of him."  
"Or that he'll get himself killed"  
"Ani..."   
"What? I'm allowed to dream!"


	3. Han Is Capable of Feeling Things??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected visit leaves the house in a flurry, tension runs high between Han and Leia, but they do find something in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I'm so sorry this took a year I had HUGE writers block. I wrote half of this last sunday and the rest today lmao. Its short but to quote my mum, the best things come in small packages. The good news is I have a star wars tumblr now!! find me at https://transhansolos.tumblr.com/

"Is he actually coming home with us? Can I not just beat him to death with my crutches?" Luke sounds incredulous more than angry.  
"You sound like your father. I'm not thrilled either, but he can't drive and Leia wouldn't be quick to forgive us if we didn't offer."  
"She'd get over it," he mumbles, before carefully sliding himself into the car. Han is sat in the seat next to his, a smug grin on his face. The glare the younger man shoots his way only seems to widen it. He's revelling in Luke's hatred, and it only makes him hate him more. Was last night's apology even sincere, or did he just want to play with Luke's emotions? He doesn't suppose he'll ever get a real answer to that.   
He stares out the window on the way home, refusing to acknowledge the eyes he can feel on the back of his head. Nevertheless, the idea that Han might be staring at him spawns more butterflies in his stomach, and he has never hated the insects more.

* * *

One never appreciates peace and quiet more than when they've spent the night in a hospital, and if the Skywalker Estate was ever truly quiet, it certainly isn't now. An old family friend, Obi Wan Kenobi (who preferred to go by Ben to those close to him) has unexpectedly announced a visit, and the staff seem rather flustered by the lack of notice.Han, of course, has no idea that this is out of the norm, and assumes that the maids, who have almost crashed into him 4 times already, are just incredibly clumsy. Before it could happen a 5th time, he's pulled into a room and forced into a chair.   
"I'm still not happy with you. I mean, you did an amazing job acting, you'll get your pay, but you stabbed my brother. What the fuck, Han? Anyway, that's not why I pulled you in here. I need you to tone it down for dinner tonight. Not too much, a dramatic shift in personality would be far too transparent, but if you could make it seem like I asked you to be less of a dick and you're doing your best, I'd appreciate." Han, still slightly high on painkillers, takes a moment to process this.  
"Okay.... why?"  
"My father's oldest friend is coming to visit. He's nice if he likes you, civil if he doesn't, but if he thinks you're being disrespectful on purpose he can and will kick your ass. He might seem like a mediocre middle aged man but he's trained in at least 4 martial arts and he definitely won't go down as easy as Luke did. Besides, if you piss off my dad's closest friend the day after maiming his son, he might actually kill you. Or hire someone to. Mum's like 90% of his impulse control and sometimes he even refuses to listen to her." Han raises his arms in surrender.  
"Okay, I get it, I'll be less of a dick. Life may be shitty but that doesn't mean I want it to end, Princess."  
"I am not a princess."  
"Well you act like one!" Leia starts to respond before stopping and tilting her head, curious amusement crossing her face.  
"Was... was that Shaun of the Dead?" Han perks up a little.   
"Yeah it was! You recognised that?"  
"That's one of my favourite movies!," She stops for a second to compose herself, "but that's besides the point right now. Be nice. And I'm still mad at you!" She storms out of the room and Han sits there for a moment. He's starting to like her.


End file.
